I am a creation of God Almighty. I am a creation of Jesus the Christ. I am a sinner. I am lost. I have no idea that I am a sinner. I have no idea that I am lost. So who am I to "allow" Jesus into my life? Do I have that final say? Do I have the ability to tell the Creator of the Universe that He is not allowed in my life? If God wants me to be in His family can I really tell Him no? If so, why did I allow Him into my life and my grandfather did not? Why did I "accept Him" and many people who are much smarter than me did not?
I remember these thoughts and I remember not talking to anybody about them. Were these normal thoughts? What would the leaders at camp say? What would the leaders at church say?
I am glad that I didn't talk with anybody about these thoughts. I am glad that I didn't ask if I was out of my mind. I am glad that I have spent 30+ years thinking about them and wondering how all of this fit into the theology in the Bible.
I am glad that I didn't ask around with these questions because I think that I would have been led down an incorrect path. I would have been told that yes, I did have a choice. I would have been told that we must accept Jesus and this will get us in heaven.
What I would not have been told, nor could I fully understand (as if I can now), is the sovereignty of God and how He chose me to be a part of His family. This grace is nothing that I could have ever earned or deserved. I was given this grace by God for reasons unknown and unknowable to me. I am thankful that I didn't have to "accept" Christ. I am thankful that Christ did all of the work for me - He died on that cross and He brought me into His family. There is nothing that I could ever do to bring myself in. Believing in Christ is done only because Christ gives us the ability to do so.
To Him be the glory and the power forever and ever.
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